Though I know myself quite well, I try to fight my instinct of Casanova, as I call it. I AM a father and a husband of a happy family. But... I have some weaknesses... As I could foresee, July came in unsure again. She started at once:"John, I am sorry to be so stupid to disturb you with some strange ideas of mine. That was just a moment of weakness... please, forgive me for interrupting your work and let's say the issue is closed." hey, July, please sit down and do not hurry."My smile was so confident and sympathetic, that she relaxed and smiled and sat down. I closed the door and sat next to her. I bent down and looked into her eyes."You may underestimate yourself, but I cannot. Do not be afraid to look stupid. Just tell me, what made you feel like you were feeling today, when you came to me, I want to listen and try to understand."She sighed. Looked at me and started. Thank you, Lord, - I thought, that I will have to try harder."I get distracted too often. As you know, my duties. My life is tied to his. And my need for him is almost overpowering at this point. I'd cut off my left arm if he'd just touch me." I know."Sophia laughed. "Now I know what Warren used to talk about. Whenever he'd do something for my benefit, I'd call him Saint Warren. He used to shrug it off, and tell me that I was forgetting about his healthy dose of enlightened self-interest. Now I know what he meant. Yeah, I want him to get better for him, but I must admit that I want him to get better for me, too." That's OK, Sophia. It really is. You are correct when you say your lives are bound together. And if calling on that enlightened self-interest helps you to remain strong for his sake, then you just keep doing it." It would be easier if there was light at the end of the tunnel." There is," Mary insisted. "No doubt about it. All I'm saying is, expect some hefty bumps before you get out of the tunnel." Hmmmm." And push the issue. You hit a nerve last night. You need to keep hammering it." I.
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